The sun has been trying to come out, but as you can see from these photos of the morning sky, it’s not making much progress. Although I would love to have the light and warmth of the sun, I have to admit the gray sky has matched my mood of the last two days. The sadness I am carrying in my heart has left me feeling unsettled, going from one thing to the next without really being present to any of it. Usually when I am in this kind of mood I can go to my yoga mat, focus on my breath, and reconnect; that wasn’t happening yesterday. When I woke this morning, I knew I didn’t want another day of going through the motions so I decided to change my routine; rather than going to my computer to check in on the outside world, with coffee cup in hand, I settled into a comfy chair with a book of poetry – a way to go inward to learn something from my heartache. I didn’t want to run away from the sadness, but I didn’t want to continue to carry it around either. Sadness does give me a deeper understanding of the world, and my place in it. The book I chose was ten poems to change your life, by Roger Housden, and the poem that reached through the crack in my heart was LOVE AFTER LOVE, by Derek Walcott.
The time will come
When, with elation,
You will greet yourself arriving
At your own door, in your own mirror,
And each will smile at the other’s welcome,
And say, sit here, Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
To itself, to the stranger who has loved you
All your life, whom you ignored
For another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
The photographs, the desperate notes,
Peel your image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
I don’t know if the sun will come out today; it’s not looking good at the moment. However, my mood has shifted from gray to grateful. Life gives us lessons so we can grow into the person we were always meant to be.
None of us is promised
tomorrow. Today, in all its
beauty, is all we have.